What is a clock, but just a device that tells time?
Cooks tell time by the browning of red meat
Florists tell time by the opening of petal arms
Dogs tell time by the sound of their master's footsteps
And Mothers tell time by the growth of her son's height
I tell time by realizations,
With each realization like a flag in the ground
Marking that I have overcome, experienced, and become
Oblivious all the while to the sound of tic-toc in the background.
So, now, sir, if it would please you,
Could you please
Tell me the time?
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Where's the Love?
For two weeks now, HMCC Austin has had our version of OCR on the UT campus to greet and invite international/new/returning students to our church. This means that our grand army of eight have been ravaging the campus of 50,000 students everyday passing out flyers and striking up conversation with any willing soul. With the inaugural service approaching in a week, my prayer so far has been "Please God; give me at least ONE person to bring to church next week." This attitude that I've had led me to certain revelations about myself:
(1) It's not a numbers game - I was more concerned with bringing people to church rather than loving them and having compassion for them. It wasn't a numbers game with Jesus - He gladly went to search for the one sheep that was lost. It's difficult to have this heart when I don't know how many people will come to service, events we host, or small groups we'll have for this coming year.. I had to think carefully about what a "successful" church plant meant - after which I realized I just needed to love people more.
(2) Desperation is good for me - I hated to admit it, but it had been a VERY long time since I had lifted up such a prayer. In Ann Arbor, I was never so desperate to bring someone to church, bring someone to Christ, or build relationships with the unchurched. But, faced with the fact that there might be more people on the band than there will be in the pews, it's all I could pray/think about. I just need to love people more.
(3) I'm so tired. I know - everyone's busy, everyone's tired. But it's getting tiresome - forcing myself out of my comfort zone, trying to deal with rejection without spite, and smiling brightly when all I want to do is take a nap. The other day, Toufue and I found one of our flyers crumpled up and laying sadly on the street - it was heartbreaking. I almost wanted to ask God, "The harvest is...where?" Almost. I just need to love God and people more.
Thank you for reading. And now that I have entertained you for 2-3 minutes, it is now your turn to pray for the Austin team for at least that long. I love you guys. And, I know this entry sounded depressing, but God is providing for and protecting our team... I swear. I will enter much happier testimonies... later.
Peace.
(1) It's not a numbers game - I was more concerned with bringing people to church rather than loving them and having compassion for them. It wasn't a numbers game with Jesus - He gladly went to search for the one sheep that was lost. It's difficult to have this heart when I don't know how many people will come to service, events we host, or small groups we'll have for this coming year.. I had to think carefully about what a "successful" church plant meant - after which I realized I just needed to love people more.
(2) Desperation is good for me - I hated to admit it, but it had been a VERY long time since I had lifted up such a prayer. In Ann Arbor, I was never so desperate to bring someone to church, bring someone to Christ, or build relationships with the unchurched. But, faced with the fact that there might be more people on the band than there will be in the pews, it's all I could pray/think about. I just need to love people more.
(3) I'm so tired. I know - everyone's busy, everyone's tired. But it's getting tiresome - forcing myself out of my comfort zone, trying to deal with rejection without spite, and smiling brightly when all I want to do is take a nap. The other day, Toufue and I found one of our flyers crumpled up and laying sadly on the street - it was heartbreaking. I almost wanted to ask God, "The harvest is...where?" Almost. I just need to love God and people more.
Thank you for reading. And now that I have entertained you for 2-3 minutes, it is now your turn to pray for the Austin team for at least that long. I love you guys. And, I know this entry sounded depressing, but God is providing for and protecting our team... I swear. I will enter much happier testimonies... later.
Peace.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Humble Beginnings
Presenting...
The very first HMCC of Austin service.
Location: Pastor Ben and Susan's living room
Time: 10:30 am
Attendees: 8.5 people
Fire... please fall down. =)
Please continue to pray for us!
The very first HMCC of Austin service.
Location: Pastor Ben and Susan's living room
Time: 10:30 am
Attendees: 8.5 people
Fire... please fall down. =)
Please continue to pray for us!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
One for the History majors...
For those of you who don't know, I started working as a freelance intern for a writer/publisher a couple weeks ago. What first started as a means to gain experience in publishing has turned into a genuine effort to help one man "get the message out". And what message is that you ask? His name is Irwin Tang - an Asian-American studies published author who writes anything from history books (one of which is our current project) to political pieces (more to post about this later) to semi-biographical fictions (one I just finished reading called "How I Became a Black Man"). And, his cause, his quest, his mission is to deliver the message that racism in America is alarmingly alive and well. He explains how it perverts its way into hate groups as well as presidential homes, and causes children to commit hate crimes because their parents raise them according to Jim Crow laws.
The first time I met him was at our interview. We talked about the typical first interview topics such as educational background, past work experience, and future career ambitions. Inevitably, the question as to why I moved to Austin came up, and I decided to answer honestly as opposed to reciting the "safe" responses I usually give at interviews. After I proceeded to tell him I came to start a church, he gave me a quizzical look. The reaction was expected, but the question that followed was not.
“Why?” he asked plainly.
I froze; usually people just smiled and nodded uncomfortably while they politely changed the subject. To press further was foreign, and I was fearful at the thought of trying to explain my reasons for serving God to someone who probably thought all Christians were bred from Republican families and banned Harry Potter books in their homes. I hesitated for a moment, but after mustering up a steady voice, told him just as plainly,
"Because... I also have a message."
Usually, I try very hard to avoid placing myself in vulnerable positions. One way to accomplish this is to be too honest to a complete stranger who is evaluating you for possible employment. Some things I’ve learned after many interviews are the following: be composed but likable, show only the high cards on the table, and keep your heart safely tucked inside your sleeve. I had successfully broken all these rules in a matter of seconds, and felt like I had gone all in too quickly. But, for some reason, by the end of the interview, Irwin offered me the part time position.
When I look at his life, I see someone who has thrown fame and fortune to the wind all for the sake of a cause. And, I think to myself, how much less I’m willing to abandon my comforts for a cause I find much, much more worthy. In a world where people are constantly fighting to be heard, to promote their cause above others, it becomes increasingly apparent that the messenger determines the legitimacy of the message. As our stay in Austin progresses, I hope to do justice the good message God has to give to His people here.*
Interesting read!
The first time I met him was at our interview. We talked about the typical first interview topics such as educational background, past work experience, and future career ambitions. Inevitably, the question as to why I moved to Austin came up, and I decided to answer honestly as opposed to reciting the "safe" responses I usually give at interviews. After I proceeded to tell him I came to start a church, he gave me a quizzical look. The reaction was expected, but the question that followed was not.
“Why?” he asked plainly.
I froze; usually people just smiled and nodded uncomfortably while they politely changed the subject. To press further was foreign, and I was fearful at the thought of trying to explain my reasons for serving God to someone who probably thought all Christians were bred from Republican families and banned Harry Potter books in their homes. I hesitated for a moment, but after mustering up a steady voice, told him just as plainly,
"Because... I also have a message."
Usually, I try very hard to avoid placing myself in vulnerable positions. One way to accomplish this is to be too honest to a complete stranger who is evaluating you for possible employment. Some things I’ve learned after many interviews are the following: be composed but likable, show only the high cards on the table, and keep your heart safely tucked inside your sleeve. I had successfully broken all these rules in a matter of seconds, and felt like I had gone all in too quickly. But, for some reason, by the end of the interview, Irwin offered me the part time position.
When I look at his life, I see someone who has thrown fame and fortune to the wind all for the sake of a cause. And, I think to myself, how much less I’m willing to abandon my comforts for a cause I find much, much more worthy. In a world where people are constantly fighting to be heard, to promote their cause above others, it becomes increasingly apparent that the messenger determines the legitimacy of the message. As our stay in Austin progresses, I hope to do justice the good message God has to give to His people here.*
Interesting read!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Texas Gelato Massacre
After dinner Saturday night, our team went out for dessert at a cute gelato place recommended by PB's sister. Once the five of us had gotten our little Italian cups filled with cold Italian ice, we took a seat outside the little Italian cafe'.
Midway through, we noticed there was an unusually high number of mosquitos out where we were sitting. And, unbeknownst to me, a fatty one had landed on my arm... Only Jenny took notice, and smacked that sucker hard to teach him a lesson not to prey on her new roommate! It would've been a great bonding moment if only the arm the mosquito had landed on wasn't the one holding my dessert. Consequently, my half-eaten gelato, and hopes for a sweet and peaceful end to the night, flew out of my hand and landed tragically onto the ground, destroyed.
Even Matt, who's usually embarrassed by his teammates' raucous nature, let out amused laughter.
I laughed at this as much as I laughed when I realized PB had sneakily gone inside the cafe' without telling the team to avoid the mosquitos BY HIMSELF. psh...
It's bleeding... bleeding love.
Pastor Ben: "Look Ben... mosquitos."
Benedict: "Where?"
Benedict: "Shoot dawwwg..."
My heroine.
Midway through, we noticed there was an unusually high number of mosquitos out where we were sitting. And, unbeknownst to me, a fatty one had landed on my arm... Only Jenny took notice, and smacked that sucker hard to teach him a lesson not to prey on her new roommate! It would've been a great bonding moment if only the arm the mosquito had landed on wasn't the one holding my dessert. Consequently, my half-eaten gelato, and hopes for a sweet and peaceful end to the night, flew out of my hand and landed tragically onto the ground, destroyed.
Even Matt, who's usually embarrassed by his teammates' raucous nature, let out amused laughter.
I laughed at this as much as I laughed when I realized PB had sneakily gone inside the cafe' without telling the team to avoid the mosquitos BY HIMSELF. psh...
It's bleeding... bleeding love. 
Pastor Ben: "Look Ben... mosquitos."
Benedict: "Where?"
Benedict: "Shoot dawwwg..."
My heroine.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Remember the Alamo
For memorial day, our team set off to San Antonio to visit the famed historical site - the Alamo. What was initially built as a mission by Spanish Catholic missionaries also served as a fort, and became the site of American tragedy and heroism during the Texan revolution.
Against the invading Mexican army numbering in the thousands, 185 American soldiers and volunteers defended the fort for 13 days in order to buy time for troops further north to assemble. The story goes that in the hours of the last stand, the commanding officer James Bowie gave the thirteen men who still remained standing a choice. They could either step over a line he had drawn on the ground, and stay, and fight. Or, they could choose not to cross, and flee. All but one chose to remain. And, by the morning of that 13th day, after a surprise attack by the Mexican army at dawn, all of the last defenders lay on the ground, dead.
As I read over the names of these men engraved in marble, I wondered what was their source of bravery and sacrifice. Perhaps they knew they played a part in something that was bigger than themselves. And, perhaps, they wanted to lay down their lives for a worthy cause; remembered not only having lived for something, but also having died for it.
It's difficult to think beyond our own lives, and the fruit that can grow if we are like the seeds that die in the ground. In today's day and age when the idea of delayed gratification is giving way to "if it's delayed, it's not gratifying," it's understandable when people forgo this certain discipline, much less delay gratification for the betterment of future generations. It's a lesson I'm constantly learning... that although the work we do now seems inconsequential in the present, God will use to build His church in the future.
The Mexican army won the battle at the Alamo, but, a month later, on April 12, 1846, were badly beaten by the American troops that had gathered at San Jacinto. On that day, Texas won her freedom.
** HMCC Austin at the Alamo
Against the invading Mexican army numbering in the thousands, 185 American soldiers and volunteers defended the fort for 13 days in order to buy time for troops further north to assemble. The story goes that in the hours of the last stand, the commanding officer James Bowie gave the thirteen men who still remained standing a choice. They could either step over a line he had drawn on the ground, and stay, and fight. Or, they could choose not to cross, and flee. All but one chose to remain. And, by the morning of that 13th day, after a surprise attack by the Mexican army at dawn, all of the last defenders lay on the ground, dead.
As I read over the names of these men engraved in marble, I wondered what was their source of bravery and sacrifice. Perhaps they knew they played a part in something that was bigger than themselves. And, perhaps, they wanted to lay down their lives for a worthy cause; remembered not only having lived for something, but also having died for it.
It's difficult to think beyond our own lives, and the fruit that can grow if we are like the seeds that die in the ground. In today's day and age when the idea of delayed gratification is giving way to "if it's delayed, it's not gratifying," it's understandable when people forgo this certain discipline, much less delay gratification for the betterment of future generations. It's a lesson I'm constantly learning... that although the work we do now seems inconsequential in the present, God will use to build His church in the future.
The Mexican army won the battle at the Alamo, but, a month later, on April 12, 1846, were badly beaten by the American troops that had gathered at San Jacinto. On that day, Texas won her freedom.
** HMCC Austin at the Alamo
Sunday, May 25, 2008
My First Non-HMCC Sunday in Three Years
This morning, our team visited Austin Stone Community Church to attend Sunday service - popularly known as the home of Chris Tomlin. I was surprised to see that the church that birthed today's arguably most recognized CCM artist still held their services in a high school auditorium. Instead of walking into the classic mega-church building with high ceilings, plasma screens, and plush auditorium seating, I was greeted with fold-up chairs and lockers lining the hallway. This morning was a gentle reminder that the extent to which God can use the church does not depend on the size, grandeur, or, even, the existence of a church building.
ASCC - Gymnasium of Austin High School
(Although, as you can see, they still managed to have the giant plasma screens... How do they set those babies up every week?)
Although Chris was out of town on yet another one of his world tours, worship was still excellent as his fellow lead worshiper, Andy Melvin, led the band and the people. The music was great, mixing was perfect, PVP didn't crash, and the sermon was touching. I was satisfied with my experience until, on my way out, I tripped on something and lost my balance a bit. I looked down only to see this:
...
...
DANGER. DANGER.
Mr. Tomlin - you gotta duct tape that piece.
*** Next Sunday's stop: Home of DCB.
ASCC - Gymnasium of Austin High School(Although, as you can see, they still managed to have the giant plasma screens... How do they set those babies up every week?)
Although Chris was out of town on yet another one of his world tours, worship was still excellent as his fellow lead worshiper, Andy Melvin, led the band and the people. The music was great, mixing was perfect, PVP didn't crash, and the sermon was touching. I was satisfied with my experience until, on my way out, I tripped on something and lost my balance a bit. I looked down only to see this:
......
DANGER. DANGER.
Mr. Tomlin - you gotta duct tape that piece.
*** Next Sunday's stop: Home of DCB.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)